New Year, Not-So-New Me
Change when you want to, not when you’re pressured to.
At the end of every calendar year, we tend to look towards the next year as a new beginning. We look towards the arbitrary end of a season’s cycle (and the full orbit of our planet around the sun) as a way to reinvent ourselves. The phrase “new year, new me!” is said so often in the weeks through the end of December and beginning of January that it has become a catchphrase amongst most of my social circles. Working to better yourself is a noble pursuit, and there’s nothing wrong with that in concept; however, the insistence on beginning a change in your life at the start of the calendar year is completely arbitrary.
I know, there’s a significant pressure to loudly declare to your friends and family what you will be changing about yourself this year. The stress and pressure can be daunting; what do I change about myself? What should I focus on? Do I need to change? Where do I start? You may even have a vague plan of action to make it appear as though you’ll stick to it “for sure” this year. This time is different, right?
The majority of our resolutions don’t come from a true and honest desire to better ourselves, but instead a societal pressure to improve in some way. 62% of people feel pressured to make a New Years resolution, according to Forbes Health. This social pressure to improve yourself with this specific timing is not for everyone - our lives are constantly changing and shifting, dealing with new additions and losses every single day. Whether it be a positive shift, like a new relationship or a new job, or a setback, like having your hours cut or losing a friend - the world is consistently and chaotically throwing new beginnings at us, and it’s unreasonable to expect everyone to conform to the timeline of a New Years Resolution.
Because of this, most people tend not to stick to their resolutions. The hopeful energy at the start of the calendar year quickly fades once the realities of life sink in. “The Forbes Health/One Poll survey found that the average resolution lasts just 3.74 months.” (Forbes).
Some people can operate on a 9-5, waking up at 7am and going to bed at 10pm, but others simply can’t. We all live different lives, with different goals, different dreams, and different ways of navigating the world. That does not make anyone weak or inferior to one another, it simply makes them different. As Albert Einstein once said…
“Everyone is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid.”
So, how do we counteract this?
Understand that our beginning is not here and now, it was when we were born. From then on, we are on a constant path towards something. That something is different for anyone - whether it be a hobby, a career, or even a stage of life. Whatever it may be, we start at birth and slowly but surely move towards that something. That something is not set in stone by destiny or fate, but a malleable life that YOU have the power to change.
Our desire to change and start something new must come from within. The people around us can be a great support system for our goals, but they cannot be the sole reason for your growth. Making your purpose personal and clear leads to better outcomes. “Understanding your ‘why’ behind your goals can significantly boost your motivation and your commitment to stick with that goal or resolution.”, says Jim Kwik, author of Limitless Expanded Edition: Upgrade Your Brain, Learn Anything Faster, and Unlock Your Exceptional Life.
That being said, utilizing your social circles to hold you accountable is a great asset. Your friends and family can help encourage you to keep going when you start to find excuses for quitting or skipping a day. They can help you stay on track and remind you of your purpose.
Overall, the one thing to remember is that you can start at ANY TIME. Change is a constant, not a yearly occurrence. So if you ever lose yourself to everything that life throws at us (even surprising new beginnings), remember that you can start again.
I’m proud of you.
Happy 2024.